Wednesday, July 20, 2011

10th Best Fanfics I've Ever Read-The Unofficial Farces of Evil Series by The Stupendous Jimbo and The Motley Band Crew by Tealfrog26

Okay, for this one I'm going to do something entirely crazy, for an unprecedented reason. I'm going to do two best fanfics.

Now there's a reason for this, and it's flimsy. In between the list's creation, I've found a fic that is definitely in my top ten, and I can't discard it. However, I cannot completely discard any of the other fics that are in my top ten- all of them, eleven now, are magnificent.

So for 10th place I have declared a tie between two fics. I'll go ahead and present the original tenth first.

10a. Farces of Evil: The Stupendous Jimbo's Guides to the Best Fanfic Advice Ever

Section: Super Smash Bros
Genre: Farce
Rating: Teen, for some language and occasional crude joke
Type: Oneshots
Lengths: Several oneshots of about 2,000-5,000 words
Latest Update: All are oneshots, and made on his whim

Before I go into detail, I should explain myself. You've probably noticed that I've linked you to Jimbo's profile, not story. And that there's not even a story called the title that I put up there. Well, here's the deal.

Jimbo's written several different fanfics on the subject of the vices/taboo of fanfiction works, based in Super Smash Bros. While he has some serious work worth noting, one look at any of these will let you in on the secret: Jimbo is THE king of humor in the Smash Bros section, no questions asked. And pretty much 75% of his work are those farces, so they're easy to find.

Also, I made up the name.

Now onto the review.

As you may have seen, not everyone is exactly, erm, skillful in Fanfiction. There are stories that are pure self-indulgence, and it gets annoying. Stupendous Jimbo knows this better than anyone, and he'll let you know exactly what he 'thinks' about it- they're great!

Well, in a way. Great for his farce material. You will spend so much time sitting, laughing hysterically, and identifying those moments/ideas that make no sense. From learning how to flame like the pros in "The Stupendous Jimbo's Guide to Stupendous Flaming," Those people who cry out for attention in "IT'S CALLED FANFICTION!", self-indulgent and self-insertive original characters in OH MY GOD I NEED OCs, and my personal favorite, Oh look, Another Stupid Truth or Dare Story, which tackles those who the hell came up with this idea ToDs.

I'll focus on that one.

The green clad man gave a small sigh. "I understand," he said. Zelda gave Link a peck on the cheek and said, with a smile, "don't worry, you'll find the right girl, and she'll be more lucky than anybody in the world."

Captain Falcon tilted his head in Zelda's direction and muttered "yet you don't want to be that lucky girl."

"Captain Falcon shut up! This is none of your business," Zelda screamed.

"Yeah well if you haven't noticed, you guys have been calling me rude but you've yet to realize I'm trying to watch the race in peace and you three won't leave me alone! So until you get the message you're unwanted, I'm now in official contributor to this conversation!

Peach gave a subtle scoff topped with a cold glare. "And what resilient contribution do you have to offer?"

"First of all, Link, give it up, it's not gonna happen. You have a better chance of going to the romance section of Super Smash Bros. on fanfiction and finding a story that does NOT include a gay pairing. Second of all, Zelda, seriously, Link is the only guy who won't dump you after you sleep with him...Think about it…And last, Peach, do you even know what 'resilient' means?"


You just laughed. A lot.

The story stars Captain Falcon, the frank, brash force in the world of high school drama-esque Smash Mansion, where every other character acts like they're stereotypical insultive to teen highschoolers, which happens A LOT. It's an absolute joy to see Falcon just calling BS on all the story elements that are dismissed as normal a lot. The Truth Or Dare element is short, but it's awegasmic to see Falcon completely tearing down the walls of BS built up in the smasher's lives and the stories that are like that. It was just a moment of "YES! YES! YES!" Just like M Bison.

Long story short, Jimbo says what needs to be said in a way where he doesn't directly say what needs to be said. Enjoy.

10b. The Motley Band Crew by Tealfrog26

Section: Super Smash Bros
Genre: Humor, Angst, Drama, Dark Comedy
Rating: Late Teen, for pervasive language mostly from one person, drug use, potentially offensive humor, and innuendo
Type: Serial Fic
Status: 4 Chapters In, 12,500 words
Latest Update: July 13, 2011

It took awhile for this fic to truly hit home in my mind, but when it did, I was moved.

This story by a newer writer who doesn't know how great they are. It focuses on Mr. Game and Watch, who, after an out of control series of events, is ousted from the Smash Bros Tournament and forced to live in a crappy garden shed. With the help of the less popular characters, gloriously OOC foulmouthed Olimar, drastically upbeat Yoshi, confused, troubled ROB and drug-addled and unprofessional Dr. Mario, he starts the "Motley Band Crew", a group dedicated to doing good in the world, with the double entende of helping the emotionless Game and Watch truly feel.

WARNING: THE BELOW EXCERPT IS VERY EXPLICIT. VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED.

"The Motley Band Crew." Mr. Game and Watch declared, rather despondently. Mr. Game and Watch stood in a two room shed with Captain Olimar, Rob, Yoshi and Dr. Mario, forming a ring around a small soap box in the center. It was being used as a table and held a file with some papers sticking out. Yoshi had brought it in. The room was completely empty otherwise; the floor and walls were bare wooden planks. Through the door to Game and Watch's left was a bed, a mini fridge and an old black and white antennae based television.

"No, the Fuck Ass Dicks Gang," Captain Olimar said behind the small soap box, "It makes us sound more badass."

"We're here to help people, not…do that," Yoshi reasoned.

"Don't be a pussy Yoshi," Olimar said as he slapped the green dinosaur in the knee cap. Olimar could not reach his head due to his height. "The Fuck Ass Dicks Gang is beast!"

Game and Watch shook his head. "No, that sounds like we want to screw them in the ass. As a collective gang."

"With our dicks," Dr. Mario added.


This story is definitely a comedy, but it is shockingly poignant. From the first lines, you laugh a lot, but you also grow fond of the ousted Mr. Game and Watch and you feel for him. There are many intentionally offensive elements, and those with a thin skin will be up in arms. But the characters are truer than you'd think- even the complete douchebag Olimar has a familiar aura about him. And that's the beauty of it. Tealfrog was inspired by real life people at their best and worst and put elements of realism in every character that if you blink, you'd miss.

You also grow to appreciate the little elements, like the somewhat out of place exquisite prose of the narration and dialogue, and the little characteristics of the characters- naive Nana's pride in her french fries, Luigi's occasional gruff "hello" to Game and Watch when he's not insanely drunk, Rob's uncontrollable of announcing silently every time a taxi passes by- there's just the little moments that strike a chord because they're identifiable and real. It's shockingly beautiful.

My favorite touch? At the end of all chapters except for the first, a character, primarily Game and Watch, ends the chapter with a defeated "F**k." It brings a painful, poignant pang that closes it out quite well.

Really, this story's unlike nothing you've ever read.

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