9th Best Fanfic Of All Time-Canary On A Landmine by kyouji kanji

9. Canary On A Landmine by kyouji-kanji

Section: In Plain Sight
Genre: Crime Adventure
Rating: Ten plus, for some language and action that isn't that explicit.
Type: Chapter Fics
Status: Complete, 25 Chapters and 50,000 words.
Finished On: April 8th, 2011

Starring Characters: Mary Shannon, Marshall Mann, OC Isabelle Manning

It's incredibly hard, as I've mentioned, to do a story with the characters in character when they're off a TV show. They're developed in, at times, more than fifty hours of TV episodes. It's even harder when it's from a show that focuses on developing the characters, like In Plain Sight does. It's extremely hard, in this case, to capture the overall feel that the TV show does.

Kyouji-kanji's Canary on a Landmine succeeds that, and that's what makes it such a triumph.

I'm astonished how in character everyone is, and how in character the story is to the show. It's absolutely remarkable. It's literally like reading an episode of the show. It's a shame that they're cancelling In Plain Sight because Kyouji could write for it very well.

"We're going away from the commercial flights because they're hard to secure. We have a Gulfstream 150 waiting for us at the far side of the airport and that will take us straight through to Denver. We're going to be with you all the way there and we aren't going to let anything happen to you. Okay?" [Marshall explained.]

She nodded, finally finding her voice. "Thank you."

"No worries, we aim to please…"

Mary gave a slightly derisive short. "We aim not to miss," she muttered under her breath, then added aloud, "There they are."

Mary sat up straight once again scanning the area.

The story itself is well done and original. The premise is that Mary and Marshall, being the grand Witness Protection agents that they are, are taking a witness across the nation to Denver, but as predicted, things go awry as people start hunting them down. What really cinches the story as original as it turns out is what is perhaps the greatest use of starring Original Character ever, the enigmatic Isabelle Manning, who is the cause of most of the plot twists. A few chapters in we find that

SPOILER ALERT
Isabelle Manning isn't really Isabelle Manning, special agent, she's a close friend, also a special agent, in cognito as her, and she does this kind of disguise work a lot. This allows her true character to show through, and it's a blessing. The fake Isabelle, nicknamed "Isn't", is one of the most entertaining characters I've seen in a long time, holding up to the wit and character of Mary and Marshall.
End Spoiler Alert.

All in all, this story is pulled off magnificently, and it's a great read. There are a few grammar and spelling errors (points to the title on Fanfiction) but this is one of the most engaging and entertaining works I've read in a long time, and I'm glad I followed it. Now if only Kyouji would work on the sequel some more...

BONUS- Psst, click me, Kyouji...

10th Best Fanfics I've Ever Read-The Unofficial Farces of Evil Series by The Stupendous Jimbo and The Motley Band Crew by Tealfrog26

Okay, for this one I'm going to do something entirely crazy, for an unprecedented reason. I'm going to do two best fanfics.

Now there's a reason for this, and it's flimsy. In between the list's creation, I've found a fic that is definitely in my top ten, and I can't discard it. However, I cannot completely discard any of the other fics that are in my top ten- all of them, eleven now, are magnificent.

So for 10th place I have declared a tie between two fics. I'll go ahead and present the original tenth first.

10a. Farces of Evil: The Stupendous Jimbo's Guides to the Best Fanfic Advice Ever

Section: Super Smash Bros
Genre: Farce
Rating: Teen, for some language and occasional crude joke
Type: Oneshots
Lengths: Several oneshots of about 2,000-5,000 words
Latest Update: All are oneshots, and made on his whim

Before I go into detail, I should explain myself. You've probably noticed that I've linked you to Jimbo's profile, not story. And that there's not even a story called the title that I put up there. Well, here's the deal.

Jimbo's written several different fanfics on the subject of the vices/taboo of fanfiction works, based in Super Smash Bros. While he has some serious work worth noting, one look at any of these will let you in on the secret: Jimbo is THE king of humor in the Smash Bros section, no questions asked. And pretty much 75% of his work are those farces, so they're easy to find.

Also, I made up the name.

Now onto the review.

As you may have seen, not everyone is exactly, erm, skillful in Fanfiction. There are stories that are pure self-indulgence, and it gets annoying. Stupendous Jimbo knows this better than anyone, and he'll let you know exactly what he 'thinks' about it- they're great!

Well, in a way. Great for his farce material. You will spend so much time sitting, laughing hysterically, and identifying those moments/ideas that make no sense. From learning how to flame like the pros in "The Stupendous Jimbo's Guide to Stupendous Flaming," Those people who cry out for attention in "IT'S CALLED FANFICTION!", self-indulgent and self-insertive original characters in OH MY GOD I NEED OCs, and my personal favorite, Oh look, Another Stupid Truth or Dare Story, which tackles those who the hell came up with this idea ToDs.

I'll focus on that one.

The green clad man gave a small sigh. "I understand," he said. Zelda gave Link a peck on the cheek and said, with a smile, "don't worry, you'll find the right girl, and she'll be more lucky than anybody in the world."

Captain Falcon tilted his head in Zelda's direction and muttered "yet you don't want to be that lucky girl."

"Captain Falcon shut up! This is none of your business," Zelda screamed.

"Yeah well if you haven't noticed, you guys have been calling me rude but you've yet to realize I'm trying to watch the race in peace and you three won't leave me alone! So until you get the message you're unwanted, I'm now in official contributor to this conversation!

Peach gave a subtle scoff topped with a cold glare. "And what resilient contribution do you have to offer?"

"First of all, Link, give it up, it's not gonna happen. You have a better chance of going to the romance section of Super Smash Bros. on fanfiction and finding a story that does NOT include a gay pairing. Second of all, Zelda, seriously, Link is the only guy who won't dump you after you sleep with him...Think about it…And last, Peach, do you even know what 'resilient' means?"

You just laughed. A lot.

The story stars Captain Falcon, the frank, brash force in the world of high school drama-esque Smash Mansion, where every other character acts like they're stereotypical insultive to teen highschoolers, which happens A LOT. It's an absolute joy to see Falcon just calling BS on all the story elements that are dismissed as normal a lot. The Truth Or Dare element is short, but it's awegasmic to see Falcon completely tearing down the walls of BS built up in the smasher's lives and the stories that are like that. It was just a moment of "YES! YES! YES!" Just like M Bison.

Long story short, Jimbo says what needs to be said in a way where he doesn't directly say what needs to be said. Enjoy.

10b. The Motley Band Crew by Tealfrog26

Section: Super Smash Bros
Genre: Humor, Angst, Drama, Dark Comedy
Rating: Late Teen, for pervasive language mostly from one person, drug use, potentially offensive humor, and innuendo
Type: Serial Fic
Status: 4 Chapters In, 12,500 words
Latest Update: July 13, 2011

It took awhile for this fic to truly hit home in my mind, but when it did, I was moved.

This story by a newer writer who doesn't know how great they are. It focuses on Mr. Game and Watch, who, after an out of control series of events, is ousted from the Smash Bros Tournament and forced to live in a crappy garden shed. With the help of the less popular characters, gloriously OOC foulmouthed Olimar, drastically upbeat Yoshi, confused, troubled ROB and drug-addled and unprofessional Dr. Mario, he starts the "Motley Band Crew", a group dedicated to doing good in the world, with the double entende of helping the emotionless Game and Watch truly feel.

WARNING: THE BELOW EXCERPT IS VERY EXPLICIT. VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED.

"The Motley Band Crew." Mr. Game and Watch declared, rather despondently. Mr. Game and Watch stood in a two room shed with Captain Olimar, Rob, Yoshi and Dr. Mario, forming a ring around a small soap box in the center. It was being used as a table and held a file with some papers sticking out. Yoshi had brought it in. The room was completely empty otherwise; the floor and walls were bare wooden planks. Through the door to Game and Watch's left was a bed, a mini fridge and an old black and white antennae based television.

"No, the Fuck Ass Dicks Gang," Captain Olimar said behind the small soap box, "It makes us sound more badass."

"We're here to help people, not…do that," Yoshi reasoned.

"Don't be a pussy Yoshi," Olimar said as he slapped the green dinosaur in the knee cap. Olimar could not reach his head due to his height. "The Fuck Ass Dicks Gang is beast!"

Game and Watch shook his head. "No, that sounds like we want to screw them in the ass. As a collective gang."

"With our dicks," Dr. Mario added.

This story is definitely a comedy, but it is shockingly poignant. From the first lines, you laugh a lot, but you also grow fond of the ousted Mr. Game and Watch and you feel for him. There are many intentionally offensive elements, and those with a thin skin will be up in arms. But the characters are truer than you'd think- even the complete douchebag Olimar has a familiar aura about him. And that's the beauty of it. Tealfrog was inspired by real life people at their best and worst and put elements of realism in every character that if you blink, you'd miss.

You also grow to appreciate the little elements, like the somewhat out of place exquisite prose of the narration and dialogue, and the little characteristics of the characters- naive Nana's pride in her french fries, Luigi's occasional gruff "hello" to Game and Watch when he's not insanely drunk, Rob's uncontrollable of announcing silently every time a taxi passes by- there's just the little moments that strike a chord because they're identifiable and real. It's shockingly beautiful.

My favorite touch? At the end of all chapters except for the first, a character, primarily Game and Watch, ends the chapter with a defeated "F**k." It brings a painful, poignant pang that closes it out quite well.

Really, this story's unlike nothing you've ever read.

18th Best Fanfic I've Ever Read-Bruiselike Couple by Foxpilot

18. The Bruiselike Couple by Foxpilot

Section: Super Smash Bros- Melee
Genre: Humor, Drama, Romance...?
Rating: 7+- some slight, slight innuendo and confounding elements.
Type: Two Shot
Status: Finished, 7,000 Words
Finished: March 20, 2010

Starring Characters: Ganondorf, Pikmin, Olimar, Wolf

Description: The first place entry to Pikana's "Unique Pairings Contest" stars Ganondorf must figure out what to do when he falls in love with Olimar's... Pikmin...

Review: As humble a guy as Foxpilot is, you have to admit that he has big, brass balls. For his first site fic, he enters (and wins) Pikana's Unique Pairings contest- a contest that usually evokes pairings of Kirby and Pikachu, Fox and Peach, Lucario and... everyone who ISN'T Lucario, but Fox decides to go with the most outlandish, extremely crazy pairing you could think of, ever- Ganondorf, and Olimar's Pikmin.

Just... let it sink in. The most wicked villain in Nintendo's history, and walking flowers that go up to his toe. By all means, there's no way in hell that this should work. And yet, somehow, it does.

"Your eyes seem to pierce my soul, their very essence embracing me.

Your skin reminds me of clear, pure water, such a rare commodity where I'm from

That I've learned to treasure it unendingly.

The petals of your flowers are soft and tender, and I am soothed by your joyous hum.

For so long I've wanted to express my feelings for you.

It is only as I write this crap that I realize you can't read!"

Perhaps it is Foxpilot's writing style itself- he gives the crazy fic that looks like a crackfic on first sight a balance to it. There's well done humor and drama in rationed amounts so that one never overwhelms the other. This does blur the lines of what you feel like you should laugh at and what you should empathize it, but I can't tell if that's as bad as I thought at first. It gives it an air of mystery.

Not only does Foxpilot not ram the story into any extremes, but he also subtly shows the intelligence behind a GanonxPikmin story- with such a drive to lead, the idea of a harem of Pikmin is alluring to the aspiring dark king, an intelligent move on Foxpilot's part.

As a bonus, there's a downright brilliant, albeit explicit crackfic based off of this story by Kattheamazing that's sure to make you laugh. But the original is definitely an achievement- it defies your expectations by taking an outlandish idea and making it more tangible.

20th Best Fanfic I've Read: Restraints by Hardly Loquacious

Hey, all! You may have seen my 20-11 for top fanfics I've ever had the pleasure of reading. My friend and entrant Foxpilot had the great suggestion of individualizing the entries so they do not get lost within each other. So here I go! Expect 10-12 new posts today, only with little to nothing new! XD

20. Restraints by Hardly Loquacious

Section: The Mentalist
Genre: Romance, Humor
Rating: TV 14- Some Violence, Mild Sexual Situations, Sensuality, and some language
Type: Full Story
Status: Finished, Seven Chapters, 37,000 Words
Finished: June 8, 2011

Starring Characters: Patrick Jane, Teresa Lisbon

Description: After the fall of Red John, legendarily cognative detective Patrick Jane works to reconstruct his life and sort through his emotions and eventual feelings for his partner as he works his way back into a normal life without a revenge focus.

Review: Let's face it- even in adult shows, there's still pairings and characters that you ship for. One of the most noteworthy is CBS' The Mentalist and its most implied pairing, breezy wiseguy detective with talented people reading skills Patrick Jane and loyal if not tense partner Teresa Lisbon. This is pretty tricky territory to be taken in seriously in- you have to do a damn good job to nail a more sophisticated pairing without looking like just a passionate fan, especially in a media where their characters are extremely, extremely defined. And you have to hand it to Hardly Loquacious, who did a good job at keeping it fresh, but most importantly, keeping it true to the show's elements.

Watching Jane put the pieces of his life together after the one thing he had spent many years of his life trying to do- kill Red John, who killed his family- was done by Lisbon- is an interesting twist considering that without Red John to hunt, Jane has set up no purpose for himself, and since he was not the one to perform the deed, it's almost a twisted insult to injury. This is a clever setup that was a brilliant brainblast from a very cognative author.

But let the premise not fool you- the story is incredibly fluffy. And when you can take a story that seems a setup for angst, make it fluffy, but make it believable, hats off to you.

"Patrick Jane wasn't most people.

He knew that Mr. Overly Safe wasn't what she really needed. He knew it.

But he wasn't quite sure she did. Not anymore.

And now, as a result, he had a fuming Teresa Lisbon sitting in the passenger seat of his car.

Oh yeah, and she was handcuffed.

He may have panicked, just a little."

Rarely is it that you will find characterization so spot on, especially since in this case there's such a high risk and so little excuse to get it wrong. Everything Jane does, everything Lisbon does, every reaction, every interaction is one hundred percent in character. The dialogue, the internal thoughts, the narration (which often comes from a technical third person but sounds very first person- you'd have to see it for yourself, but it certainly works)every word typed is worth reading, funny, intelligent, exactly what needs to have been said in that situation, romantic- it's exactly what it needs and tries to be. And that's a feat. I guess if you're loquacious as an author, you have to make every word count, and there is hardly a flaw in it.

Overall, in a story that could technically be seen as a series conclusion, Hardly Loquacious makes a story that hits all the right notes.